I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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