you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
