I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
