Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
