she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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