She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
