I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
