Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
