We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Are we still banned from the library?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
