I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i dont even know how to be here
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
