would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
