How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
