I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
