omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
