the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
