She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just want to make out with him forever
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
