It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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