Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
