Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
