I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
