I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
