life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
