I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
