At least make sure they are 18
Why
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
