Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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