so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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