Your face is a jimmy john
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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