So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
