His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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