That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
