You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
