She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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