Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
