hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
