i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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