how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
