My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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