To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
