Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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