I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
