she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
