Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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