Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
