"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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