And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
