Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
