I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
