Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
