my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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