I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
