Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
